"When he was born, my baby spent a week without crying. Just dead silence..."

My name is Beatrice Muyoki from Kitui county. I’m currently staying in Nairobi, Kibra and I've been here for two years. I’m twenty-two years old, and a mother of one boy. My baby's name is Trevor and he's two years old.

I came to Nairobi to join college but I've had to pause for a while because of the baby. He was born with some challenges and I couldn't leave him alone for the past two years because he would regress instead of improving.

I’m a single mother. We never married, we were just friends and then I became pregnant. He took care of the kid for a few months and then he just disappeared. He only picks up the phone sometimes when he wants to.

So now I am my child's sole provider with the support of my parents. Everything is because of my parents, they support me one-hundred percent.

My parents reacted a bit harshly when they found out. The journey wasn’t easy, it was actually very tough because I had some issues when I was pregnant and it took ten months. I didn’t experience any labour and just went in because I was past the days. When I went, I was supposed to have a c-section but the doctors delayed to do it and that's why the baby’s problem came. They took too long.

What they did…I was sent to the main theatre, then I was sent to the emergency room. At the emergency room, there was no doctor so we had to wait for around two hours for a doctor. They had already broken my water so the baby got dehydrated then the cord choked him. That's where the problem started. He was born and went four days without feeding on anything, one week and three days without crying, just dead silence.

The doctor didn’t say anything, just that the kid had just been delayed for c-section. He was born with low oxygen, and they tried their best to save him. Even though the defect had already come, they tried to save his life.

It was very difficult, very hard for me. I didn’t know whether the kid would survive because he was so dehydrated a lot that I couldn’t squeeze when I tried to press him. He was totally hard. They didn't give him any formula, they said he just had to feed on their water, medication and glucose. I believe that made the baby weaker because for a whole week you couldn’t know whether he was alive or dead. He was just closing his eyes, no opening them, no crying, just silence.

For two weeks, I was just alone. It was a public hospital where I had the c-section. The doctors didn’t take ownership of their mistake, they just told me to go home with the baby after he recovered, started crying, and acting like a kid. They told me to go back every two weeks for a check up and by the time he was four months, they said he has to start physiotherapy. So I’ve been taking him for physiotherapy all this time and that is why I had to stop my course.

It’s my parents who support us, everything is all about my parents. The baby’s food, what we eat, the rent- it’s all my parents.

Therapy is twice a week and it depends on whether the money is there. Sometimes I take him to T-Mall, there is a hospital sponsored by the Chinese. It’s free and everything is done electronically but it depends on time. To take him there, I have to be awake by five am outside by five-thirty. They do physiotherapy and physio-activities and we can use all the machines until their time runs out.

I stopped taking him there because I became sick and couldn’t manage to carry the baby. I have ovarian cysts so it’s challenging, when I’m carrying the kid it’s a bit painful. I’m on medication continuously because the pain goes away when you're on it. It's difficult because the baby relies on meditation always, and I’m relying on medication always. It's difficult for my parents because they are the ones paying school fees, paying rent, providing the food, everything. I need money for daycare because I have to leave him so I can go back to school. But I do appreciate my parents, they do a lot, they really do a lot.

I did breastfeed him but not for long because there was no milk at all so by the time he turned one year, he completely relied on formula.

I have to be careful with the baby; how to feed him, how to handle him, how to do the massage at home, take him for therapy. He takes medication but I can’t say it helps. Maybe therapy. He has been on medication since he was born until now. I need five thousand for medication every month depending.

They normally say that when the baby doesn’t cry when they’re born, the air doesn’t circulate well to the bones and head so you'll find that the kid is always behind.

My hope is that he could walk because he's strong and very active. It's his upper body that's weak, but the legs are okay. His neck is also not well supported, so if the head goes one way, he will fall. I’m working on it the best way I can, trying my best.

He has improved a lot, so that gives me hope.

I’m working on getting him a head support that makes the neck steady. I don’t yet know its name or how much it’s being sold for. Then his arms are a bit weak, they can’t hold something well. I do everything for him.

I’m still working on how to get back to school in January,and finish in July because I’m only left with one unit and then the exam. I had already started but I had to drop out. After finishing this course, I can search for a job to do.

I wish to be a chef. A chef. I know how to cook everything, and also baking I know. Cakes, pizza, biscuits, cookies, sweetcakes, I know everything. Once I have the equipment, I want to be self-employed. I want a bakery and a restaurant but I especially like baking.

I want to be able to take care of myself, and take care of my baby without the support of my parents or his father.

Finding somebody who will take care of that baby is not easy, it needs someone who has the courage to do it because that baby requires a lot of money.

I will wait for a little bit. I’ll just take a little time for myself, for my baby to be stable so that I can decide. Of course I want to have more children, that one isn’t enough. I can get two to three.

I normally say if my kid was born well, I would be good. I never knew that something like that could happen because I’ve never seen it, in our family there is no disability. The father of the kid refused to do the culture customs, what they usually do when a baby is born. I last saw him when the baby was around two days old and have never seen him since. . I normally say that if the father could have seen the baby and did what they normally do when the kid is born, at least the baby could have changed. It comes a time where there’s not much you can do to force a man to do anything. Even any money for food, I don’t ask for.

I just hope for the baby to one day walk on his own, and then I can take him to school and I’ll be good. You can’t know the baby has a problem until I tell you, because he doesn’t show it.

photographer's note

The profound challenges in Beatrice’s life countered with her happy and smiley spirit truly touched me. I still think of and hurt over her story to this day. The themes of medical neglect, absent fathers and unpaid full time care work are realities for many (including my own family) that are not acknowledged enough. Beatrice however seems to have an endlessly optimistic outlook on life that I find deeply inspiring and I look forward to working with her further and support her motherhood journey for beautiful ( and equally smiley) Trevor.

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse