"When you’re an “I-dont-care” person here in the ghetto, you survive."

My name is Fiona Achieng’. I’m currently twenty-three years old and I have one boy turning five years old. I gave birth to him when I was seventeen years old in 2020 during the Corona period. Life wasn’t really good at that time because there was a shortage of stuff so we’d just try.

When my child was seven months old, he got sick. He started turning yellow-ish, his eyes were yellow and he was weak with no appetite. We went to the hospital and they diagnosed him with sickle cell anaemia. I was so shocked that I just started crying, I was so confused. My mum didn’t even speak, she just packed the child’s clothes. We had to stay there for one and a half months as he was being treated. So his journey has been that every month we’d go to the hospital, he’s given medicine, and his blood is drained and replaced. I felt supported because I was with my mother every day, my father and even some of my friends were there.

Soon after I was supposed to go to school to study beauty therapy so my mum had to take him with her upcountry because there’s no way I could leave him at home. Plus he’s not supposed to eat the kind of food we have here, he needs a balanced diet.

My mum agreed to take the child so that I could study beauty therapy and at least be able to earn something. So I send money over and she buys medicine. His medication costs seven thousand shillings per month, without adding the cost of blood transfusion which is around two thousand five hundred shillings.

We pushed through, I finished my course and got my certificate. I was looking for work but wasn’t getting any. The job I got was as a masseuse at a spa in Kilimani but problems came about on that first day. I didn’t know how those people work. When I got there, my client was a South African man and I was tasked to give him a massage. So I got into the room and started massaging him. Turns out there were “extra services” expected. So I quit on that first day and I wasn’t paid.

After quitting, I got work as a cleaner at B Arcade Mall. I did it for some time but then they let me go. I started looking for people who want their nails done, but sometimes I’d come back tired having not found any clients. I’m stressed, the child is sick, my mum needs money and there’s nowhere I can get any. So we all depend on my dad but his work is not stable.

I eventually found somewhere I can dance and I joined that group, it’s called Wasanii Sanaa Organisation. They also do mentorship and teach lots of things like how you can handle yourself and manage your stress, stuff like that. It gave me the courage to talk in front of people.

You know when you join you don’t really know anything and you have to be taught. So my hard work is what has gotten me to where I am today. At that time I wasn’t going to any shows because I hadn’t yet mastered things. I mastered them because of the pressure I had, I needed money for my child. When they pay us, I put my money on the table and three-quarters of it goes to my mum and I remain with a quarter which I can use.

The father and I broke up when I was four months pregnant, since then I haven’t spoken to him. Plus I’ve already removed him from my mind because we weren’t even helping each other. I met him here in Kibra but he moved and went to Dandora. He has another wife and a daughter. I could tell that he’d just bring me problems and stress me out so I left him alone.

I can say, I’m someone who doesn’t care. I don’t usually mind when people talk as long as you don’t touch me cause then that’s bad. I’d even pass by peoppe and tell them that they can talk if they wanted to, I didn’t care. As long as my mum hasn’t thrown me out on the streets, I have no worries. When you’re an “I-dont-care” person here in the ghetto, you survive. But if you keep listening to everyone’s words, it will finish you. You’ll be stressed and even develop mental issues.

During labor, I was rolling with whatever came my way. You know when you get pregnant at a young age, according to what they had told us during mentorship, it’s good to accept yourself as you are first in order to find courage. So I accepted myself, and said whatever happens will happen as long as this child comes out safely.

On the day I was in labour, I didn’t know that I was. I thought they were just the usual stomach pains. I was crying at the door and my little cat was seated besides me. The women around noticed I was in pain and decided to take me to the hospital because I didn’t know what was going on. They packed the baby’s clothes, got the clinic book and took me to Tabitha Clinic. I didn’t stay too long before the water broke and they took me into a room. I became fatigued and they had to put me on oxygen which made me very afraid.

The male doctors were friendly, but there was one very rude lady who asked me why I'm shouting. I got up- I don’t even know where that strength came from- and told her that as long as she was in that room, I wouldn’t give birth and if my child died, I would have her locked up. She was asked to leave and then I proceeded to give birth. One of the doctors even brought me back home in his car.

Right now I’m not picky when it comes to jobs, I can do any work as long as I get money. If I had 100k first of all I’d make sure that I pay for my son’s school fees, then I’ll start a business for mum so that I won’t have to be sending her money, she’ll be getting that from her business. Then maybe I’ll open my own beauty business and save the rest of the money.

I’d also like to keep dancing, I like it. That’s my passion.

I’m just fine with this one kid because I don’t want to have more when I’m not prepared and have them go through what this one did.

Now I can say he’s fine because where he is the weather is good for him and also the food. He eats things that come from the farm so there he’s at least gained weight. He’s okay when he eats that balanced diet and takes his meds. But he still goes to the hospital as usual.

I just want a happy life. That life where there’s nothing we lack, we have everything. Not that life where you have to go borrowing from people. Like we have everything and he lives a soft life. I want him to at least say that his mum did these things for him.

Had I not gotten pregnant, now I’d be far in life. I use the three-year implant. There are side effects, but it’s okay with me.

When he grows, I'll tell him of the struggles we went through, I’ll tell him everything. He shouldn’t behave like these other men, he should be caring. He should be a good person who behaves well so he can live well.

photographer's note

Fiona’s badass attitude to life is absolutely admirable and I deeply respect her for making the best out of a tough situation. Shooting her story without her child present forced us to be more creative and I’m so happy with the outcome. We got to explore different locations and also link up with her dancer friend. We ended the day doing Baganda dance together and it was the perfect way to end the project!

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